Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
