We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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