Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
