"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
