There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
