The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
