i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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