Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
