So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
