u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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