Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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