Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
