He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
