you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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