In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
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