I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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