I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
