Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
