Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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