After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
