My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
