The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize