i just wanna soil my oats bro
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
