tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize