I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
