Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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