I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize