Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
