i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
