Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
