Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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