Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
