youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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