so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
