just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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