Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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