dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
