FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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