does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
