All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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