Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
