Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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