Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
this will be a night to untag.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
