Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
