I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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