i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
