ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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