My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
