Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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