i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
