Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
