I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
