Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
