so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
