Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
