Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
