He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
