Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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