hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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