There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize