I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
