this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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