Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
