in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
