Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
