Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
