Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
