A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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