After last night, I could never be a politician.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
