Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Boobs speak an international language.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
