My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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