My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
