i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
