I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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