He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
