Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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