Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
