The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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