You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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