I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
